Dr. Ian K. Smith, of VH1 Celebrity Fit Club fame, has come out with a book claiming to let women in on the human race’s best kept secret: what men are really thinking. Oh? Do tell.

I received a free copy of this book while I was a member of the audience at a taping of The Wendy Williams Show. (My mom and I are compulsive TV audience goers.) Dr. Ian had gone on the show to talk  to Wendy about being famous and gorgeous or whatever. Oh, and about this book that he wrote. He specifically forewarned the crowd that we might not like what he has to say, but the women eagerly clung to his every word anyway.

The Truth About Men calls upon every stereotype that you’ve ever heard about men: or women, for that matter. Most of Dr. Ian’s example “don’t” scenarios have to do with men’s responses to the stupid things that women do or say. Men don’t want to be dragged shoe shopping with us? They don’t want you to blame everything on your period? Revolutionary! 

Very few of the “truths” in this book stem far from the age-old “do I look fat in these jeans?” relationship dilemma. Dr. Ian incorporates amazingly detailed narrative “Situations” (and their “Handles”) into his thoughts to illustrate his points, but the results bring us no closer to understanding… anything, really.

Standouts from the book? While he claims that most men don’t typically mind weight gain in general, Dr. Ian dedicates an entire sub-chapter to “The Dreaded Pooch.” Before you go on and get offended about being judged on your belly, he offers up the same advice I would about concealing it. Nobody likes a muffin top, especially when you don’t even really have one but your jeans are creating it. (The Wendy Williams crowd didn’t much appreciate this discovery.) Also, “no matter how colorful or glittery the lipstick,” we won’t be distracted by gross yellow teeth.

While I love that Dr. Ian has condensed millennia of relationship confusion into a simple handbook to understanding men, I really wanted there to be more. I was glad that my copy was free, because if I shelled out full price, I would have been even more disappointed. He doesn’t offer much that hasn’t already graced the pages of women’s interest magazines. Still, it provides an easy read and you may get something out of it. If you want to check out an excerpt, a PDF is available on doctoriansmith.com